The Wheel of Time: Book 4 (2)

THERE

WILL

BE

SPOILERS

  • “She could make an idiot of herself any way she wanted” by “gawking at any man she wanted.” Yeah, asshole, she can.
  • Just want to point out that there are many chapters of the most boring character arguing with a village of farmers about… farm stuff. Many chapters.
  • Male character has to “tell himself not to be disgruntled” when a woman saves his life multiple times. What. A. Bitch. It’s, like, does she even realize he has a penis? God, lady, don’t you even realize how fragile masculinity is?
  • At this point, I’m assuming Rand’s madness will manifest as having a conversation with a woman and not suspecting duplicity at every word. MaAaAaAaAadness!
  • “Egwene tried to comfort him of course, the way women did.” Geeze, slut, can’t you stop menstruating on him for one damn minute? At least all his male friends know to abandon and ignore him so his dick doesn’t fall off.
  • “He could almost feel time passing.” Me, too, bro.
  • Chapter 36: In which women enter a tremulous dream realm to experience their own nakedness, a sensation apparently as rare as it is strange for them.
  • Physical torment is a necessary part of learning literally anything in this universe.
  • Elders: We need to get close to Bro in order to make sure he doesn’t blow everything up. Hmm… how to do it. Obviously, none of his childhood friends talking to him or a simple, human offer of help will work. I have an idea! Let’s send him a hot chick he doesn’t know. Men talk to hot chicks. Hot Chick doesn’t want to and feels violated by the mere suggestion of being an object of desire to seduce him into trust? Too bad, bitch. It’s your job to be hot. Go be hot. Maybe bang him while you’re at it. THIS IS THE MOST REASONABLE PLAN WE CAN COME UP WITH FOR TALKING TO A MAN WE WANT TO HELP AND ARE WILLING TO DIE FOR.
  • When man in distress doesn’t want comforting: Women are crazy. Why are they always trying to make me feel better? When woman in distress doesn’t want comforting: She’s made of ice! She’s not a woman at all!
  • In the VERY NEXT CHAPTER – Bro: Boy, I sure wish my childhood friend would talk to me. Elders: NOPE, TALK TO HOT CHICK.
  • Men, a few chapters ago: Hot Chick is ok I guess. Men, Chapter 37: “Well, she was pretty, especially now that she wore proper attire [read: skirt instead of pants].”
  • Every character: I wish I could understand the ordinary human thoughts, words and emotions of the people around me. If only their motives were super fucking obvious or we talked to each other just fucking ever.
  • Not long after Hot Chick Plan is unleashed: Bro, my childhood friend is the only person I trust out here. FUCKING OBVIOUSLY.
  • There are a ridiculous number of purveyors of “fine goldwork scrolls” in this world.
  • Man, looking at the woman about to kill him horribly: “that plump little mouth.”
  • Just in case you forgot, Green Ajah is hooooooooooooes.
  • “We must be concerned with what we are concerned with.” #realtalk
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