Writing About Writing: A once-a-week post about some aspect of writing. I’m not an expert; I’m just some guy. Take it with a grain of salt.
I need this.
I’m over halfway through my NaNo wordcount (NaNo tl;dr: write 50,000 words in a month). It’s not volume that’s my problem. It’s resisting the urge to burn it all to the ground.
Oh god this sucks
I’m remembering why I don’t usually do NaNo. Firstly, because it’s not usually useful. I don’t often have a walloping project sitting in front of me that needs 50,000 words dropped on it. Secondly, because I hate every word.
I’m not a confident writer. Usually, I get through this by writing a little more slowly and pouring a lot of energy into planning and organizing. I’m so ridiculously fast that this still puts my average writing speed at approximately “fucking fast.”
But NaNo takes the damn safety net and burns it beneath me.
It’s all about speed and quantity and that exacerbates every insecurity already lurking behind my attempts to write.
But that’s what NaNo is for!
Well, yeah. I guess. But I don’t know if NaNo is for me. I’m going to finish because why not? But a story I had so carefully mapped out and planned now looks like a steaming pile of garbage to me. I don’t believe in it. It’s too short. It’s too… too everything. And not enough of the things it needs. I hate it. I want to scrap it. I know I shouldn’t, but when December rolls around my finger’s going to be hovering over the delete button.
Just do the damn thing
Like I said, I’m gonna finish NaNo this year anyway. Because… well, mostly because I’m almost done anyway.
But I think future NaNo sprints aren’t worthwhile for me. It’s just not how I write.
If it’s how you write, awesome. Rock on.
But, from me to me: Just get through it and drown yourself in video games and try not to think about the tangled mess of potentially irredeemable shit you’ve collected in the first half of November, OK? OK.
Good pep talk.
- Video games